


circulatory

by erzi



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, basically just hiyori is gay and ikuya is clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 01:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15697041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erzi/pseuds/erzi
Summary: Truth was, Hiyori was quite confident about this exam; Ikuya just didn't need to know that – among other things. But sitting in front of Ikuya, in his bedroom, with their legs bumping under the low-lying table, everything Hiyori has learned the past three weeks has left him, leaving in its stead a harsh buzz of mental static.





	circulatory

Study night. That's what their meetup today is, suggested by Ikuya when Hiyori had said, with a self-deprecating laugh, that he didn't feel ready for their upcoming anatomy test.

'We can study together,' Ikuya had said, and Hiyori had brightened and agreed as if getting those words out of Ikuya's mouth hadn't been his plan from the start.

The location hadn't mattered to Hiyori. Only spending a few precious hours close to Ikuya had. So when Ikuya had reminded Hiyori (as if he'd forget) that they were meeting at _Ikuya's_ place, his heart and stomach had done strange little flips the anatomy textbook probably didn't cover.

Truth was, Hiyori was quite confident about this exam; Ikuya just didn't need to know that – among other things. But sitting in front of Ikuya, in his bedroom, with their legs bumping under the low-lying table, everything Hiyori has learned the past three weeks has left him, leaving in its stead a harsh buzz of mental static.

They had each been quietly reading from their respective textbooks. Well, at least Ikuya had. The papery rustle of a page being turned filled the empty air every once in a while. All Ikuya's doing. Hiyori had been on the same section for fifteen minutes. It had been going fine – or as fine as studying could go when you're with the friend you dream about kissing, in his very own bedroom – up until Ikuya had gotten up to get them drinks. Then, as Ikuya had stood, his hand brushed Hiyori's perfectly together, joints to joints, and Hiyori's weak focus on his academics had sharply veered to Ikuya. Unsurprisingly.

As Ikuya left, Hiyori's eyes had followed him, then settled on Ikuya's bed.

_What does Ikuya dream about?_   he'd thought, and then his lips had pursed. _Not me._

Ikuya had returned with the drinks, and Hiyori had downed a quarter of his in one breath. They have been sitting in renewed silence since then. Hiyori had planned to ask Ikuya questions whose answers he knew if only to maintain the charade, but he hadn't done so at the start, entranced by Ikuya's eyes prettily flitting as they read. Now he really can't bring himself to say anything when he needs to most.

A drop of condensation travels down the drink's colorful plastic exterior; a drop of sweat inches down Hiyori's back.

"Hey," he blurts, as the drop of water from the bottle hits the table.

Ikuya glances up, a strand of hair falling in front of his eyes. He sweeps it aside.

Hiyori swallows. _Why did you put your hand on mine when standing up?_   he wants to ask. But this is something he knows the answer to as well, and it's not an answer he likes.

_Because_ , his imaginary Ikuya says, _my hand was already close to yours. I didn't think about where I put it_ _. I just stood up_. An accident. Ikuya probably hadn't even realized what he'd done. Certainly not what it made Hiyori feel.

"What is it?" Ikuya asks, voice as calm as still water.

"I, uh," Hiyori says, desperately looking for anything that would be okay to say, "it was that, um..." His eyes fall to the textbook in front of him. "The heart?" he says, his insecurity unintentionally resolving itself with a questioning inflection.

"What about it?"

"Um, I can't keep track of how blood flows in it." There. That's a good question. Though one he could answer, in a better state of mind.

"Maybe it would help if you turned the page."

Hiyori blinks. "Huh?"

"There's a diagram in the next page," Ikuya says. "Looking at pictures helps me more than just reading about it. It also could for you."

"Oh." Hiyori hesitantly turns the page. An intricately drawn heart takes up a good portion of the page, the path of blood traced within it. "Oh," he says again, closing his eyes.

"Even though it helps," Ikuya continues, uncharacteristically talkative, "in the end, you just have to memorize what happens. I don't really have any tips for how I remember. I just do." The corner of his lip tugs down ever slightly. "Sorry, I wasn't much help."

Hiyori's eyes shoot open. "No, no, it's okay!" he says, maybe a little too loudly, waving a hand as if to swat away Ikuya's worry. "You're right. Anatomy is just memorization." He looks down at the illustration again. Something so vital to life, something happening presently in his own chest at a maddening speed, can be summarized in two pages. "This is on me."

"I can quiz you on the steps if you want," Ikuya says.

"Yes," Hiyori says without a second thought.

Wordlessly, Ikuya takes Hiyori's textbook from him and sets it behind him. On his own book, he flips back to the correct section, then holds it up so the text is hidden from Hiyori. "What's the first step?" he asks.

The picture of the heart lies just beyond Hiyori's eyelids. If he closed his eyes once more, he could see it better and call its details to his tongue. But if he closes his eyes, he'll miss seeing Ikuya's own watching him expectantly.

And he can't have _that_.

"The first thing is..." Hiyori says, meeting Ikuya's gaze.

"...is?" Ikuya patiently says a moment later, when Hiyori has yet to speak because with Ikuya's coffee-colored eyes even on his, with Ikuya's soft-looking hair once again falling by his eyes, he has forgotten how to.

Hiyori's heart keeps erratically pumping blood: oxygen-poor to oxygen-rich, over and over, from birth to death and all the wrenching things in between.

"Do you need to review it again?" Ikuya asks, eyebrows furrowed.

Hiyori briefly bites the inside of his lip and then gives Ikuya a false smile. "I guess I do."

Ikuya hands him back his textbook, and Hiyori purposefully grabs it from the same place Ikuya holds it. Their fingers brush: Ikuya's cool, Hiyori's burning up. He can feel the pulse of his heart on his fingertips. In that moment, did Ikuya?

_No_ , Hiyori decides, because Ikuya's passive expression has not wavered. _Ikuya doesn't know what my heart does._

**Author's Note:**

> HOW'S ABOUT THAT S3E6.... WOW
> 
> i'm quite aware where these two are at rn is Not Healthy, and that hiyori was mean to haru & friends but. but the unrequited love. jesus. anyway hiyori and ikuya will work this out, i feel this in my bones, then i won't feel weird wanting them together


End file.
